نفسي في ... وتفو عليه

Last week.. i watched "The Ugly Truth".. and two days ago i watched another movie titled "he is just not that into you" - i know pretty long title.. am not sure if its the exact name of the movie.. but hey focus on the meaning.. Anyway, both movies are discussing similar topic : "Rules of Dating"... they are both interesting.. and informative.. though the first one is funnier.. the second one is more realistic..

Many of you already think.. ya right.. another romance - comedy movie.. that has nothing to do with reality.. but in fact..i find those two focusing on real issues.. on painful moments.. happy ones.. things almost everyone is ignoring or pretending they don't exist.

Let me draw you a picture there... you meet someone that you like.. u wonder how shall u call him/her out.. or lets get more specific.. if u r a girl.. how should u make the guy ask u out.. or if u r a guy..how should you ask her out without being rejected.. is there really a rule that the guy should ask the girl out? can't the girl ask the guy out? or does that make her look desperate and needy?

Lets imagine you did manage to ask her/him out or get his/her phone number one way or another.. and the date goes well..you enjoy your time.. have good laugh... flirt.. joke around with some sexual associations maybe.. but then what? the date ends.. who will do the first step? who will call the other.. and ask him/her on a second date.. maybe a romantic dinner? many challenges suddenly appear.. and life gets very complicated... I won't go into more details in how deep a relationship might go.. but trust me.. the mind games continue to increase with every step forward you go...

This mind game .. is all about the Ego... many.. both guys and girls.. believe that if they do an honest step forward.. and deal with the relationship exactly how the gut feeling says.. that they will be the weak part of the relationship.. Both movies suggest a theory.. that i personally agree that it happens.. but don't agree that its the right thing to do... nor have ever done it to anyone. The theory is based on one single thesis : if you ignore someone..you actually wants that person... u send a message that you are independent.. and don't need anyone.. and hence you hit the other person's Ego.. so basically he or she decides to crush the other person's Ego.. and thus becomes trapped in the dating-mind-ego game. Many by the way fall in love during that game.. but that is not necessarily bound to happen. Unfortunately.. if you think u r mature enough... not to fall into this mind game.. well.. sorry.. i have bad news for you : game over - u r single.. Unless.. you find an exception.. or you are an exception yourself.

When does this mind game end? In Jordan or at least in our eastern culture.. usually ends when a commitment or marriage is declared.. but generally thats not true.. since rules are in general intended to be broken eventually... if and only if.. the relationship is based on the theory i rambled about above..

Myself.. i had my doubts if this theory is actually the case with me.. or with the society surrounding me.. i had my ups and downs.. believing that it actually is true.. but after some thinking... i still believe that honesty... directness... and more honesty.. is the key to a successful relationship.. I firmly believe that any relationship that starts because of rejection (which actually means acceptance) .. is just the first sign that this relationship is going to fail. Small kids do that.. when they try attract girl's attention by hitting her.. or by stealing her notebook.. or by using practical jokes.. bad ones.. to give the impression of dislike.. but we are not kids anymore.. and those who still practice those methods.. well.. with all due respect.. they are not relationship material.. and will end up single.. or unhappy.